Satan's Heir
by TheLight898
Summary: What if Issei was a Devil Dragon God? Op Issei, Non-Perverted Issei. Issei X Unwanted Harem.
1. The True Heir to the Gary Stu

Summary: What if Issei was the Satan-God Dragon? Hard Core Issei, OP Issei, Smart Issei, Non-Perverted Issei. Issei x Unwanted Harem

A lone boy stared at the front of Kuoh Academy. Kuoh Academy, a school where the majority population is female. A school where both Rias Gremory and Sona Sitri just happen to attend. And yes, my main protagonist is just happening to come here out of sheer coincidence.

The boy stepped inside and suddenly all the girls began to giggle as their panties began to get wet at the sheer sight of Issei.

[Seems like you're still popular with the ladies] Ddraig said as he looked at all the wet panties. The boys glared angrily at Issei causing him to chuckle nervously. [And hated by the male population]

Because yes, all the male students of Kuoh Academy have nothing better to do than hate on one guy for being good looking.

And also yes, despite the fact that Issei isn't even human he managed to somehow get the boosted gear. Canon rules? Plot? Logic? Fuck those things; this is a high school dxd fanfic.

Issei stepped inside of the main building of Kuoh Academy only to be met with more wet panties and more angry glares.

Rias Gremory looked down at Issei with a small smile on her face. 'I'll have to have Kiba bring him to the Occult Research Club later' Rias thought to herself shocked by his insane power level.

Yes, The Crimson Hair Ruined Princess has nothing better to do than stalk some random boy because of his power. She also never has classes. Plot? Logic? Fuck those things, this is a high school dxd fanfic.

"Class we have a new student" the teacher said. "Come to the front of the class and tell the students your name"

Yes, because every fucking teacher, in every fucking class has to do this exact same routine. Logic? Plot? Fuck those things this is a high school dxd fanfic.

"My name is Issei Hyoudou" Issei said with a bright and cheery smile on his face.

"Wow he's so hot"

"Wow he's so cute"

"He's totally not a pervert"

All the girls smiled at Issei as their panties began to burst with wetness. Every girl giggled as they instantly began to fantasize about being with Issei.

Forget about flaws? Character development? What the fuck are those? This is a high school DxD fanfic. How the hell is he still Issei? How does he even have the name Issei?

Issei went back towards his seat and sat down, his eyes then fell on the white hair girl who was busy eating some snacks.

Yes, because what the hell would he do in class if it weren't for the fact that one of Rias's servants just HAPPENS to be in there. Plot? Logic? Probability? Fuck those things this is a high school DxD fanfic.

The bell then ringed (because fuck school) and Issei stood up ready to leave.

"Issei-Kun?" Issei turned to shock to see a blonde hair boy, standing behind him was a group of girls whose panties were wet (not as wet as when they thought of Issei though).

"Yeah?" Issei asked in confusion, Issei could tell he was a devil (convince) and he could tell that this guy possessed a sacred gear (more convince).

"Buchou would like to meet you in the club room"

"Sure" Issei said.

{These are devils, be careful Issei} Ddraig said in Issei's head.

Yes, because why not just go with the devils? Hmm…it's not like they could want anything? Plot? Logic? Fuck those things.

Issei arrived at the Occult Research clubroom to see the crimson red hair princess standing there with a smile on her face. "Greetings, you must be Issei" she said with a bright smile.

"Hi" Issei said.

Why did he even come here again? Pffft who needs reasons to do things, this is a high school DxD fanfic.

"My powers are above even a Ultimate Class devil". "I can kill a God with a blink of a eye. My name is Issei Hyoudou the Satan God who possesses the boosted gear"

Rias gasped as her peerage began to shake in shock.

Yes, she already knew he had a high power, didn't know shit about him but logically she's going to bring him to her clubroom and then for some reason she gets scared when he tells her how strong he is. Fuck logic, High school DxD.

Suddenly a ring of fire opened up and Riser jumped out. "Issei, it's time we fight to see who's stronger" Riser said with a cocky grin.

"Alright, you leave me no choice" Issei said, glaring at Riser with a passion.

Suddenly the two appeared in a ring in the Underworld. "Issei, if you win you can have his peerage, that's the deal" Issei looked to see Sirzechs, the Lucifer Satan of the Underworld.

Because sure, the fucking Maou of the Underworld has nothing better to do than play referee for two teenage boys.

"Begin"

Issei instantly sprang into action and put his arm through Riser's chest. Riser then turned into ashes. Everyone in the Underworld looked at Issei in shock and confusion. Suddenly people began to run and scream afraid of the power radiating from Issei's body.

Because logically a race 100xs more advance than humans is logically going to invite someone to their realm who they don't even know what the fuck he is. And forget Riser, he was just the Volume 2 villain, it's not like he had his own goals or dreams. It's not like he was a good person or anything, no, just demonize him because fuck logic.

Issei appeared at the mansion to see 15 beautiful girls. They all instantly fell in love with Issei despite him being the one who killed their master. Issei then went on to kill numerous other deities, monsters, fallen angels, etc.

Forget actual plot, this is a high school dxd fanfic.

Author Note: This is basically what every Highschool DxD has become. Some basic Gary Stu pandering bull shit. Issei had flaws, Issei wasn't perfect, Issei wasn't a God, girls didn't fall in love with Issei instantly, the only reason Issei got the sacred gear was because he was human. Rias had a logical reason for meeting Issei, etc.

If you're going to write some Gary Stu pandering bull shit. Then stop leeching off Issei's name just to gain popularity for your story.


	2. Raynare? Because sure why not?

A/N: I'm amazed that this even got noticed. I made it as a joke for my friend who gave me this account a while ago and now currently goes by the name: ShatteredRose23. This story was a joke where we were talking and complaining about the OP Issei trope.

A lot of the reviews seem to think that I'm telling people what they can and cannot write by making this satirical story. I'm not telling people that they can't do it. I'm merely making a joke off a redundant trope. The only story that I've seen on this website that logically makes sense is _Rise of the Solar God_ by WarriorMan199456. He explains everything, it makes logical sense for Issei to be named Issei (because he was taken in by the Hyoudou family) and Issei has Ddraig for a logical reason. Unlike other stories full of illogical plot holes that are just cringe and don't make sense. I would honestly rather read a story about an OP OC than some random garbage that just uses Issei's name for points.

I also read another story called Dragon Ball Legends by Veema. She writes Kakarot and the other family members as OP individuals (of course they didn't start out this way) but she logically writes their growth of power and logically makes them stronger.

I enjoy Shirou Fujimura's stories especially _Devil Reborn Redux_ , ShatteredRose23 is now working on a story called _Heavenly Dragon Kings Rebirth_ , _The Magical Knight_ by HolyKnightX, and _DxD Rebirth_ by Houki Minami (I recommend these 4 stories to whoever is reading this).

Now what you'll see in most of these stories I listed is they keep Issei as a character but write their own OC character in. But you don't see them just using the name Issei in order to traffic in readers.

But anyways, that just how I feel about this trope being stretched out, nevertheless me making satirical writing to make fun of the trope isn't going to stop people from over using it and dragging it to the ground. Like one review brought out people pull the same type of shit in the Naruto and Fairy Tail fandom. But that's not going to stop me from making fun of it. And without further a due, onto the story.

* * *

Chapter 2 Raynare? Because sure why not.

Issei let out a sigh, another day of school and another day of wet panties from the girls that attend Kuoh Academy. Issei was walking back home when he noticed another girl poking his arm. "Umm…excuse me…"

Issei turned around to see a girl with long black hair and beautiful violet eyes smiling at him. "Can-Can-Can you be my boyfriend?" the girl asked with a nervous smile.

Issei's eyes widened in shock 'wait a second…' he looked at the girl's crotch and what he saw forever scarred him for the rest of his life.

…this girl's panties weren't wet.

It was obvious to Issei that she was a fallen angel. Issei didn't know what her intentions were (neither did she) but Issei knew he had to go out on a date with her to find information.

"Sure" Issei said with a smile. The girl squealed before running off.

"Alright Issei-Kun, see you later"

 **~MEGA TIME SKIP~**

Issei let out a sigh as he stood near the water fountain, it was the conclusion of their date and he was ready to receive a kiss from Raynare. "Issei…can you do me one favor…"

"Umm…sure" Issei said.

"Can you die for me?" Raynare then stabbed Issei with a spear of light but the spear shattered the second it hit Issei's body.

"How…How could it be?" Raynare asked in confusion.

Issei simply smiled "I'm the Satan Dragon God that's how, I have holy immunity, unholy immunity, dragon immunity, void creation, power negation, the ability to manipulate space and time, super speed, super strength, immense durability time immunity, space immunity, immunity immunity, the boosted gear, Samuel's poison immunity. Hell, while I was naming this list I just gained the ability of the entire 72 devil pillar. Now I have the power to f-"

Issei looked up in shock noticing the black feathers around him "Damn, she got away while I was naming all of my OP abilities that I would suddenly possess for the sake of plot convenience" Issei thought with a sigh.

Issei then spread his two phoenix wings and took off to the sky; he landed at his house and was annoyed to see the girls standing around his house. "I thought I told you all never to come here without reason" Issei said with a sigh.

Ravel was the one to speak "Me and the rest of the girls decided to leave the heavy fortified Phenex Mansion in the Underworld to live with you, the one who killed my brother" Ravel said with tears in her eyes.

She missed her brother…but there was something that kept pulling her towards him…something illogical…

Issei went and patted the girl on the head causing her to smile "I didn't mean to kill your brother…I just conveniently lost control of my powers and turned him into a pile of ashes" Issei said with a smile. "But don't worry…I'll probably see him in a few chapters from now".

Ravel sniffed some more before smiling brightly at Issei. The fact that he fucking murdered her brother suddenly didn't seem all that bad anymore. The girls then walked into Issei's mansion that suddenly flew from the sky and spent the night fighting over which one would get to sleep under Issei's arms (Ravel and Xuelan won).

 **~Raynare's Hideout~**

"Raynare…"

"What is it Dohnaseek?" Raynare asked with an angry expression, she wasn't in the mood for these fallen angels.

"Why did you?"

"Why did I what?" Raynare asked.

"Why did you attack the Satan Devil Dragon, there has to be some logical motive for it" Dohnassek said.

Raynare couldn't let the other know she fell in love with Issei (right after she tried to murder him) so she concealed the blush and wet panties that were plain fully obvious to everyone who had eyes. "Because…I don't know"

Sure why not, Raynare and the other fallen angels had spent an entire month tracking and keeping tabs on Issei but for some unknown reason, she decides to attack him for the sake of attacking him. Fuck motive, Fuck Logic, Fuck Reasoning. For this is a High School DxD Fanfic.

And, this chapter is completed. Thanks for reading and see you next time.

Next Time: The Blonde Nun that fell from the sky


End file.
